Lies and Mysteries

And then there are times that I feel lonely. I feel like no one can help me. Only I can see my faults if there are any. And the funny thing is, I can't really realize my real faults. I can only feel that I did something wrong. It kills me. I don't know how to undo what I've done already because to my mind, it doesn't even exist. May be its all just an imagination. May be its all just an illusion. May be its just another blurred vision in my mind. May be I think its the only way out. May be I feel depressed for some other reason and I make myself believe that, I did something wrong and that's why I'm suffering. May be blaming myself fills my heart and makes me cry leading to an empty heart. May be life haunts me or may be the truth does. But..*sighs* I can't figure out the real reason. The reason remains a mystery, heart remains heavy, eyes remain shut, vision remains dark, story remains untold, and Questions.. Unanswered.

Dispersed Thoughts

I'm not some Psychoanalyst or someone who can predict things and study People. But I know who I am and I know this too that some things are common in all the people. Except for the Heartless ones. Few hide those things behind their Facades and they think they just dodged the bullet but in real they are holding a gun to their head. Once the facade is shattered, the trigger oscillates half a trip and it just blows up the whole thing. Everything bites the dust.

Something Engineering

Life is a Hard journey. And trust me, if you wanna make it even more Harder, choose Engineering in Major, lel. It will add so much to those hard things that you will feel bad for yourself. Engineering itself is another hard life and adding this to your own life, well do the Math and you'll get your answer. It makes you feel depressed, it requires Only Study nothing else. And I mean Only Studies, No gaming, No Sports, Nothing else. And then when the exams approach, it even takes away the right of Sleep from you. Yes it Sucks taking Engineering, Yes my exams were coming, Yes I was depressed and Angry.

The world that was left Far behind

There was a time that I used to wake up in the morning and I remember those Birds Chirping outside and MY world used to look so beautiful. And the nights filled with sparkling stars, and those shooting stars. People used to enjoy those nights, sitting under the moonlight, talking to each other. Sharing themselves with each other. No worries were there, and everything used to be so refreshing and just so Perfect. A small wound used to be so big, a scratch on your knee was a big deal for everyone, a small head blow was a call for lots of Hugs and Love. Everyone used to back you up even with the small hurdles because they had this pumping organ inside which at that time was more than that. It was a heart and it had feelings. But now, its something complicated. Its not the same anymore. Birds don't chirp anymore, Nights aren't filled with stars anymore. Life is way different now. Everyone is so busy with their lives. They don't care about anyone now. Wounds are not wounds now. Scratches are nothing at all. Nobody has time to hug you or make you feel loved. And most of they're not Happy now, not even with their own lives. They prefer Pleasure over feelings. Life never works this way. Pleasure is temporary and that's the reason for them being unhappy. All they care about is money 'cause they think Money can buy Happiness. Believe me, its not the Money that buys you Happiness, 'cause Happiness was never ready made. Its your action that buys you Happiness. And gives you an inner peace and satisfaction and a soothing feeling which Money was never able to give you. The secret of life is, keep your desires to a limit and things will work out for you. In fact LAO TZU summed it all up in a single, yet a heavy sentence, "Manifest Plainness, Embrace Simplicity, Reduce Selfishness, Have few Desires". This line really says it all, its the secret to Happy life. But no body on earth can move their hearts. They are so turned on by Money. But they don't get it. They just keep on destroying their life, inner peace and everything. And its a race, you win if you make others unhappy. Human nature is way too cruel. Human is the wisest of living things but this era doesn't have any Humans left. Now when we look backwards, in the end it makes us believe in backward.

For I was a New Bee

Tired of hectic life in this world; doing chores at my home, waiting for the drugs; Looking forward for the time, It wasn't only the 4th day which didn't make me happy; Instead day to day crushed my motivation and my lady; Going through the paper, complaining people and haters; Caught under the worst situation, nothing else left but only trust breakers; You searching for true love but all you find is a vamp; Seducing bastards and then doing it under the lamp; They say unexpected intrusion of beauty is what is life, I say screw you and your thoughts 'cause this ain't my life; Our folks were wrong to despair, hard feelings is what they get; What did our sods do, enduring hardships that I bet; Disparaging remarks and blaming us is what hypers me; Dead bodies catching the bullets and I use them to shield me; Trying to wipe them off the earth but it ain't my obligation, For I can't be utterly right but for them it was a desperation; taking lives is what they want, saving lives is what we need;
And our need must be fulfilled 'cause its top ranked than your meaningless deeds; Remember the flap of your torn flag, blasted into fragments; It wasn't a breeze or a gale but they followed their statements.

I TALK...

What can i say? (while staring at the wall) ... He is quite selfish for his own good. He hear and observe those who fulfill his interests. Though, he often respond to the unwanted n unloved on voluntary basis as well. It's like a payback for all his sins and wrongdoings to balance things out (only if it worked that way but it doesn't). He is generally graceful and harmless as long as you don't hurt his ego. But if you belittle him ... he will belittle you. In the end, he wont even bend but he'll ensure your fall ... Of course, there are those, who think they know him enough to understand him and assume that he also knows them a little if not all ... Oh well, I tell them to ask him how to spell your name ... knowing in return it will embarrass him (less) and you (more). THESE ARE NOT MINE but I just love these lines.

My Jackdaw of Rheims

They can't stand the sight of you going through the dark era without a blow. And they really don't know how it feels when you walk in this age with a blindfold on your eyes, and you go through with it with nothing to help you but only your own head and the spirit of exploring this universe and getting the thing out of this deep well which is full of criticism and people who won't miss a chance to ensure your fall. Who won't miss a chance to bring you to their level. They so eagerly search for one little hurdle and throw it in your way which turns you into a hopeless soul with no identity. In that well you are then just another no one in millions. You lose your heart and you get distracted from what you were doing. In fact this is when you turn your back to the road which leads you to success and your Hunger, the thing you wanted at most. You don't feel like taking a U-turn again because of how they clean your mind and then they make you suffer. And what they don't get is actually YOU. They can't think the way you do and neither they strive the way you do . They give you pain at its most and what they understand is that Just because you're strong enough to cope with the pain, doesn't mean that its meant for you and you're supposed to take it. And it is this moment when you actually understand everything, Happiness, sadness, pain, love, philosophy and most of all, LIFE.

#TheyCanNeverSeeYouHappy

And that Night I slept in Her lap

And Now I'm sitting next to her and I want to look at her with my eyes not moving to bits and my Heart Pounding. She went away for a long time, to be honest it was never long for someone else but for me, every second my watch stopped. I lived in her absence too, for she's the one who taught me how to be independent and that the world will never come to help you but to divert you. I'm who I am and she's the one who made it possible, the one who helped me add another word to the dictionary of my life,  "Independence". In these long days when life was moving at the speed of light, I had a nightmare about her but I never exposed the feelings I had after that. It was killing me inside for she wasn't sitting next to me. Now that she's with me, I'm calm and quite and still, for I love her the most.

Dedicated to my Mother.

BLOOD Spatters

Yes I write, I write when its dark and I'm alone. Dark as the blood we see and alone as a caged lion we see. Always busy in thinking to get out of this miserable condition. Darkness and loneliness makes me think, and I think and think and its always about the Present. They say future is Dark but tell them to come here and see, for Our Present is Dark. Blood Spatters everywhere, like we came for this. Aah yes! I hope you got a hint, I'm talking about Pakistan. Yes, our very own Pakistan. Oceans of Blood had flown before it was born. Wasn't it an infant? Yes it was and at that time they said, "Independent State" but Trust me on this, when I say that "It wasn't at all an Independent State". It was Dependent, dependent on its folks, who were supposed to make it Independent. And they did make it one but now again when we see at our beloved country, it makes us hopeless. How can we see it in the hands of traitors and Gigantic Monsters who plunge and attack every place their eyes allow them to see. It was then that our ancestors saw Blood and now again we're seeing that and we don't have to just see them coming. There must be a way to stop them. We must ask ourselves, "Why Us?". Yes, Why Us? and the answer is right in front of us. Its because we lost the three main Morals which were the firm base of this nation, of course Being "Unity, Faith and Discipline". Remember, World is a cold place to live, If you quit you're considered dead. So carry on with what you have, believe in yourselves and things will work out.
#Pakistan